Baby Steps
by Divergent338
Summary: A small step, but at that moment nothing felt better.


**So this is something I wrote based off speculation for Rage because I wasn't liking all the anti-Callen stuff being said. Hope you like it!**

**-Hannah**

* * *

"Okay," Kensi mumbled with a small sigh, squeezing his fingers again before releasing them and dropping her hand down to her thigh.

"Nice try, Kensalina." Deeks reached out to recapture her hand, while ducking down in an attempt to brush his lips against her temple.

Letting out a short laugh, Kensi playfully pushed his shoulders, shoving him away. "Not at work, Romeo," she nodding to the nearby doors of OSP.

"Does that make you my Juliette?" His eyes brightened and he attempted another snatch for her fingers.

"No!" She jerked her hand back behind her. "They don't need to know."

"Kensi, they already know."

"But they don't need proof! The only way _this_ works is if we keep it separate. We can't let it interfere with work."

Shoving his hands deep inside his jeans pockets, Deeks tilted back on his heels. "I don't see how holding your hand as we walk into the building interferes with our jobs."

"I just," she paused, nervously tugging on the hem of her shirt, silently wishing she'd just kept her mouth shut. "I just don't want to give it the chance too."

"_It_? So us, you mean us. Okay fine." Rocking forward he stepped away from her, starting towards the doors.

_Damn it!_ This wasn't what she wanted, it wasn't what he wanted.

She knew him, inside and out. Knew those little hopes and dreams he didn't dare show anyone else. His seemly rock solid confidence hid the little cracks of vulnerability he didn't dare let anyone see, until her, until they decided to be bold and she discovered parts of him she didn't know existed before.

He had fantasies, fantasies of the perfect relationship with her, fantasies of the kids, dog, and family trips to the beach. She knew about them even he'd never voiced them directly. A year ago those fantasies would sent her running, terrified of the prospect. Today they still scared her, but that lacy side of her, the one who giggled, cuddled, and whispered sweet nothings into his ear as they fell asleep, that part of her felt a warm glowing happiness at the idea, even anticipation when she thought of him sliding a ring on her finger.

So when she walked by Deeks as he stood casually holding open the door for her, she paused for a half second to brush her hand along his bicep before striding past him and ending the moment.

* * *

She opened the door to the SRX quickly, swinging into the passenger side and shutting it behind her.

"You weren't followed?" Deeks questioned, his eyes fixated on the steering wheel.

"Nope." Kensi carded her fingers through her shorter hair, and popped her p slightly, knowing he would recognize his usual drawl on her lips and turn, grinning brightly at her. But he didn't.

"Are the, uh, the bad guys suspicious of Sage?" His gaze briefly flicked up to hers, then fell back to where his hands lay clenched over his kneecaps.

"I don't think so, covers pretty solid."

"From what I saw, yeah." Deeks tilted back against the headrest, and raked some curls from his forehead. "So you kissed Callen, huh? What was that like?"

Oh, that's what this was about.

"It was interesting, but it's nothing I haven't done undercover before."

"Yeah, just seemed larger than life watching it on the big screen in OPS with Sam and the wonder twins glancing at me every two seconds."

"It sold my cover, and it wasn't me anyway. Wait," her face scrunched up in confusion. "Are you...j_ealous_?"

"No!" He responded hotly, roughly scratching at his neck. "It's just..watching you kissing him felt wrong, like it should have been me there instead of him. And I couldn't help but wonder if it bothered you or if playing tonsil hockey with Callen didn't effect you at all. It's not jealousy, Kens. I just wish we were normal sometimes. I wish I didn't have to come into work not knowing whether or not I'll have to watch my girlfriend make out with my boss. I wish we could leave home feeling confident that we'll coming back. I wish I could hold your hand around our friends without worrying about one of us being fired or sent halfway around the world."

"That sounds nice." She admitted, stretching her fingers across their laps to reach his hand. "But it seems like an impossibility, this is the life we chose. We're not normal, you've said it yourself, so it would stand that we can't be normal. We're not some people who met in a club and exchanged numbers, we knew practically everything about each other before we even got together."

"Yeah," he mumbled quietly, shaking his head to himself back to focus. "You got those numbers Eric needs?"

"Yes." She slid a piece of folded paper in his hand and climbed out the car, before stopping, still holding the door open.

"Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

She drew her bottom lip into her mouth, mulling over her words. "Kissing Callen was absolutely nothing like kissing you."

A grin was already making it way slowly across his mouth when he replied. "That a good thing, or a bad one?"

"Good thing." She smiled once before shutting the door and sliding over the seat of her motorcycle. "Definitely a good thing." She murmured again, pulling on her helmet.

* * *

The sky was dark, the case was closed, the proper paperwork completed and filed. Deeks was behind her desk, grabbing one last cup of coffee for the road when she sidled up beside him, playfully nudging his hip with hers.

"Listen."

"Hmm?" He turned, lifting the paper cup up to his mouth.

"I'm sorry about what happened this morning, it was stupid."

"No it wasn't, you were right."

"Maybe." She shrugged. "But make me a deal, will you? We don't let our relationship interfere with work, but we also don't let work interfere with us. Okay?"

"Okay." He looked down at her, his smile soft. "Does this mean that I can kiss you at work now?"

"Don't press your luck."

"Gotcha." His fingers found her hip, briefly squeezing before dropping back to his side. "Let me make you a promise too."

"Shoot Shaggy."

A laugh bubbled up out of his mouth and he shook his head lightly, grinning like a fiend.

"Maybe we're not normal, but we can still act like it sometimes. You see, it struck me. We always say we're dating, but I've never actually taken you out on a date, hell the closest we've come we didn't actually eat anything. So this Friday, you and me in ridiculous dress clothes, eating overpriced food. I'll pick you up and drive you home, kiss you goodnight, then you'll invite me in for coffee and we'll have sex and cuddle all night, because that's what normal people do, and just for once I want to be normal with you."

Kensi surprised him when a slow smile appeared on her face and she ducked her head, seemingly embarrassed. "It's a date." She nodded, smiling up at him.

"Literally." He smirked.

"Hey lovebirds, you up for a drink?" Sam called from behind them, and they turned simultaneously to see amusement and understanding paired on his face.

"Yeah, a drink sounds excellent." Deeks cocked his head back as Sam nodded in their direction and grabbed his bag from the bag of his chair.

The Detective's small grin transformed into a huge one as he felt Kensi's smaller hand clasp his own, entangling their fingers.

A small step, but that moment nothing felt better.

* * *

**Hopefully Callen fans don't get mad at me for writing a Densi fic about a Callen episode, hopefully this is liked. Please review!**


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